2 brothers diagnosed with the same aggressive (non-hereditary) terminal cancer and 6 months to live. I survived, but my younger brother Graeme did not. We had no prior history and no warning of the impending devastation that was about to rip through our families.

My survival became part of a modern-day medical breakthrough, providing a new pathway for how patients can better respond to and survive a serious cancer diagnosis.”

Surviving stage 4 metastatic and terminal cancer is remarkable in itself, it attracts attention, and therein lays a new unexpected responsibility.

Cancer patients suffer a lot, that’s what it is to be a patient, so anything that I can do to alleviate that suffering is a good thing, a positive thing, a meaningful thing. Sharing my story, knowledge, experiences, and wisdom in the best way possible does exactly that, it helps make other patient’s lives more liveable and shines a light on what is possible.

Become cancerREADY

I find a lot of patient suffering comes from not understanding things and the confusion and overwhelm that comes from that. So helping people understand their diagnosis and options is a good start to improving their survival chances.

I have also learned the advantages of becoming cancer-ready, just as CPR awareness and basic knowledge can improve survival rates.

Cancer is a feared abstract thing somewhere over there – not something that i would have to concern myself with, I was reasonably fit and my lifestyle was pretty healthy – or so I thought!

Cholangiocarcinoma was consciously an obstacle to big to comprehend – no survivors, no support and hope, except for what i did not know I had within me.

Diary Note 2017: Message to Cholangio the Beast.

It all happened in the briefest of moments. Cholanagio you busted through my front door in the dark of night, you wrestled me to the ground, repeatedly brutalising me to my last breath, ‘Cholangio’ you left me for dead, cold and beaten, but I did not die, I still breathe.

Cholangio you took so much from me, yet you left something behind.

As I struggled for my survival I found something deep within me that you could not see nor reach, an “unconditional willingness” protected and undamaged at my center. You and your cancer army could not reach what you could not see.

Cholangio you pushed me to the edge but I did not go over. As I clung there with just a finger hold left on life, my mind unexpectedly calmed. From that edge, I could see far, I could see so much more than I had ever seen before.

Your intentions were clear and brutal as you skillfully culled me from the herd, but unwittingly you reactivated my instincts, and freed my inner vision trapped deep within – I could see again, my ‘Looking Glass’ had returned and could see beyond your grip.

Cholangio I accepted and conceded to your unwanted grip, and as you rejoiced in your victory your grip relaxed for just a moment, but a moment was all I needed, I re-engaged and slipped your grip and the awaiting abyss of nothingness.

Cholangio I took that next step at speed without hesitation or condition. I continue to move forward with my ‘Willingness’ and ‘Looking Glass’ in hand. I am not limited or daunted by the convenience of proof. Yes, I have learned that possibilities and proof are born from within my own Looking Glass. I have learned the dangers of the convenient realities that shackle the crowded centre from which I was culled. I have learned the self-responsibility, discipline, and power of critical thinking and the pursuit of perfection.

Cholangio I am aware of your stealth, your shadow, your grip. I know you, and you know me. I know your path, and you know mine, I will always see your path so our paths remain parallel.

End of diary note:

Have you ever felt wild? Wild with anger? Wild with excitement? Wild with your imagination? A favourite book that no doubt etched itself into my deepest childhood imaginations came to life throughout my many deep moments as I strived to remain part of the opportunity -Life! ‘Where The Wild Things Are‘ – Movie trailer I have to say I think I am of sound mind but cancer can definitely challenge that assumption

Steve

PS; Apologies for any grammatical errors as I have tried to keep this as authentic as it was written into my diary at that time.

This story is via Cholangio Challengers

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